Saturday, 21 June 2014

Sexism in the Medieval Times







And it was still the time of Inquisition when he went to the church to confess his sins.






Marriage back then was a really serious thing, since God was told to be actually watching from very close.



People did not divorce: One of them died and they then could marry another person.





From the confessionary the priest then said: So, my son, what is it today?





He goes:  Priest, oh, my priest... . 



Priest: Say, son. What is it that is afflicting you?



He goes: Priest, you know how I respect all the rules of the Catholic Church, where I have married my wife.



Priest: Yes, son. You have been telling me all these years. 



He goes: Priest, priest... . Not sure I can talk about this.



Priest: What can't you talk about with your Lord through me, son? You do not trust I am a representative of Our Lord anymore?



He goes: No, priest. It is surely not that, but, you know, time goes by and... . 



Priest: Oh, son, what is it that has happened to you?



He: Priest, my priest... . The neighbor, the neighbor of the house in front of mine, that widow... . 



Priest: OK, son. You do not need to talk anymore: Your wife is doing witchery, right? Don't worry, I have plenty of believers in the same situation as you... . Witch she is!




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Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Zorro, Tonto, and the Ambush






Zorro is ambushed by the Indians and he then turns to Tonto (Understanding Zorro and Tonto) and says: We are now surrounded by Indians, Tonto.



Tonto: We who, Pale Face?



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The Art Of Imitation: Only If It Is Altruistic







The occupational therapist was working at Pestalozzi (Pestalozzi). She then asked the kids to clap hands


They were all trying, but none would succeed.


Some would go very close to clapping, like one hand would touch the other slightly on the way to the right position, but the shape would be lost and they would end up almost hugging themselves instead.


She said that they would have to be able to clap hands to progress in their studies.


One after the other, all in a cue, they were trying, but nothing.


Number 200th, the last one, makes that sort of face, of someone who is having difficulties with their bowel movements, a lot of difficulties, but is really persistent, and finally succeeds, so that she finally heard a clap.


As soon as number 200th does that, she hears the sound of all the other pairs of hands clapping for him.



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Sunday, 15 June 2014

The Soap Bar







Three prisoners were found glued to the walls of the shower cubicle, a sort of paralyzed.





The warden looked around to try to make sense of the scene.





In the center of the cubicle, on the floor, a soap bar... .  





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1 Kilo






The country-Queensland woman was visiting Melbourne. She then entered a hardware store. 




As soon as she stopped to examine a bedpan, the seller, a Melbournian man, asked: So, are you going to take the Queenslander




The woman: Queenslander? As far as I know, this is a bedpan.




The seller: No, no, no. Here we call them Queenslanders.




The woman: Hum.




The seller: So, what size are you looking for?




The woman: Of the size that fits one kilo, one kilo and a half of Melbournians... . 




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