He answered: I always do that.
Tuesday, 29 October 2024
Eternal Love
He answered: I always do that.
Monday, 12 August 2019
Wednesday, 20 March 2019
Saturday, 9 February 2019
Never Asked Before
And they asked...
The answer:
(Bonner & Partners, 10/02/2019)
so that we all die of shock more easily!
Friday, 18 January 2019
14 Virgins
Word goes around that The Islamic happily commit suicide, the so-called suicide bombing, because they are sure they will get 14 virgins after death.
The Catholics, on the other hand, believe that you may go to hell if you kill yourself, for that is against the will of God, who plans your death as well as your birth, and those are higher order moments.
Conciliation means: after death, there is space and ETs. You may go to planet x or y, all depending on your deeds. If you commit suicide, these are the looks of your 14s:
Saturday, 12 January 2019
When What You Think Is The Only Possible Truth
The Australian native woman was going on about how the American native systems worked well because only the native white American people were inside of them.
She had problems with Amazon.com and decided to solve them via chat.
She had problems with Amazon.com and decided to solve them via chat.
An employee appeared in the rectangular chat screen: what can I help you with, madam?
She goes: all was fine when it was Create Space. It is now KDP and you obliged me to swap. Nothing works, especially pagination.
He goes: what is Create Space and KDP, madam?
She stops to read his name in the chat rectangle and lashes: can I please swap you for the American?
Friday, 30 November 2018
How Many of You?
How many engineers does it take to swap a light bulb?
Three: two to hold the chair and one to keep the light bulb firm as the chair holders go around in circles until the light bulb is firmly attached to the socket.
I Am Who I Am
It is a boarding house and that means that you can hear your next-door neighbor fart or tie his belt up.
He was on the mobile to the back of the other bedroom. I heard because I was in that bedroom; in the other bedroom.
He said: Are you guys gonna dress smart?
...
He said: Right, then I will go the way I am.
Tuesday, 9 October 2018
Russian Dolls - Magnifique!
You won't believe what this is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VezPcS4r5Ws
Netcheporenko - Russian Dolls - The world greatest Cabaret
Monday, 23 July 2018
The Name of the Family
My good mother always told me: Marcia, my dear daughter, you do not denounce your relatives at the police station because there are more things that should matter, things beyond their crimes, so say your surname.
That is when I started thinking that my surname was really important.
I never saw it in the social columns of the newspaper and Rio de Janeiro was always completely crazy about what they call socialites.
Socialities are basically people who are always invited to attend parties that matter, meaning those that appear in the dominant media.
Socialities are basically people who are always invited to attend parties that matter, meaning those that appear in the dominant media.
I had to go through December to agree with mum: every family in the Country seemed to say, in loud and good sound, and every year, at that height, that there could be no Christmas without a Pinheiro.
Sunday, 29 April 2018
Saturday, 2 September 2017
You Cannot Do This, Sir
It happened in Utah, USA: The nurse tries to explain to the cop that he cannot demand a blood sample of a person who did not consent unless he has a warrant.
The cop does not have a warrant.
Result: The nurse is arrested...
Friday, 7 April 2017
Thursday, 6 April 2017
Cross Multiply
Joke brings one interesting joke: What do you get if you cross a climber with a mosquito?
Tuesday, 28 March 2017
How Many of You?
A mathematical joke asks, How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
The answer is then a mathematical expression that means one:
Monday, 20 March 2017
Soft Drink and Prizes
A little boy from Queensland was crazy about Coke.
One day he got a prize.
One of the lids said he got a prize.
He went to the depot to pick it up.
It was a huge huge, really huge, box.
One day he got a prize.
One of the lids said he got a prize.
He went to the depot to pick it up.
It was a huge huge, really huge, box.
He had to open it.
He carried it in the bus and everyone kept on starring at it.
He carried it in the bus and everyone kept on starring at it.
He got home and his relatives all watched him unpacking: The first huge box was gone.
Now there was a slightly smaller box.
Everyone wanted to know what would come after this one.
He then unpacked.
One more box was gone but there was an even smaller box inside of that one.
He kept on unpacking.
Another box appeared.
Unpacked.
Another one.
He was now by the fifth box.
Still unpacking.
From size of a microwave's box to the size of a socks' box.
Still unpacking.
Tenth box.
Now it came one that looked like a ring's box.
It was the last box: Size of a ring.
He opens it.
Nothing is inside of the box but a sentence.
The sentence: Next time drink Fanta.
Now there was a slightly smaller box.
Everyone wanted to know what would come after this one.
He then unpacked.
One more box was gone but there was an even smaller box inside of that one.
He kept on unpacking.
Another box appeared.
Unpacked.
Another one.
He was now by the fifth box.
Still unpacking.
From size of a microwave's box to the size of a socks' box.
Still unpacking.
Tenth box.
Now it came one that looked like a ring's box.
It was the last box: Size of a ring.
He opens it.
Nothing is inside of the box but a sentence.
The sentence: Next time drink Fanta.
Sunday, 29 January 2017
Tell Us Later
Norman May had died.
A certain writer wanted to write a text with the following heading: Norman May Is Now Past.
Someone quickly said: Tell us that in June because otherwise we may not understand.
Thursday, 29 December 2016
When the Person Gets the Blessings of God Because of Their Name
A guy was called Paul Norbury but, in the USA, everyone was used to call him Norbury. Some said Dr. Norbury. Others said Norbury.
Someday a woman from South America who was suffering extraordinary crimes, true atrocities, for one decade and a half heard, as she was passing by the reception desk, this after once more trying Norbury for help:
- So, what is her problem?
- True atrocities, several years; poor thing.
Nobody wants to help.
- It is a good thing that Norbury will help her then. May God bless him!
Sunday, 25 December 2016
Jolie and the Unnoticed Release of Unwanted Gas
It was a social gathering in ancient style...
All dressed accordingly: carrying walking sticks that they didn't actually need when they were men and wearing corsets with the objective of constraining obesity to bearable levels when they were women.
The background music was what nowadays we use in funerals.
A maid went around offering liquor.
A maid went around offering liquor.
Spectacles that cover only one eye and hang from chains of gold were seen everywhere.
A dog of style, of those whose bodies make waves, so elegant, of really long legs and spine, is relaxing under the chair of this really fat man, who is perhaps a relative of the KFC Colonel (KFC man).
Politeness levels are so extreme that conversations sound like murmur.
Politeness levels are so extreme that conversations sound like murmur.
All of a sudden, a noise, a very loud noise, is heard.
Everyone seems to direct their eyes to where the KFC man is.
He quickly responds to their interest by turning to the dog and saying: Jolie, get out of there, Jolie! Go for a walk.
Everyone seems to direct their eyes to where the KFC man is.
He quickly responds to their interest by turning to the dog and saying: Jolie, get out of there, Jolie! Go for a walk.
Jolie is not his dog.
Ten minutes pass and the KFC man gets the attention of all once more, the turning of eyes happen again, and he again says: Oh, oh, Jolie, please go for a walk. I don't understand why you are still there.
Jolie looked at him, understood, but did not comply.
Jolie looked at him, understood, but did not comply.
Thirty minutes pass.
The scene repeats.
This time, before the KFC man releases the token that is directed to Jolie, her owner intervenes: Jolie, get out of there immediately before this man releases his excrement over you!
The scene repeats.
This time, before the KFC man releases the token that is directed to Jolie, her owner intervenes: Jolie, get out of there immediately before this man releases his excrement over you!
Saturday, 22 October 2016
Knock Knock
A man asked me: Marcia, how can I know if I am dealing with a female prostitute or not?
I answered: You knock at her head. If you hear an echo, then you are.
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